getting married

I don’t get out to the movies much, unless they’re rated G for the kiddo. So I saw Rachel Getting Married at home on the couch last night, where I prefer to watch, anyway (a shout out to Fee. Miss watching flicks with you, though I don’t know how you ever put up with me, especially in a theatre, back in the day. I should not have been taken out anywhere, I believe. We’re lucky we didn’t get crowned a good one. ).  I never want to see Rachel…again. For reasons I won’t get into here. I have to say that my favorite part in the movie was when Kym snapped about the constant music in an important scene, and thankfully, the music stopped.  Because I felt exactly the same way, during the entire movie. I felt other things, too. It did make me cry.

But more than that, it got me to thinking upon one of my least favorite things, weddings. I’ll try not to be too negative. I think I give the wrong impression when I talk about my anti-marriage views. But the thing is, I do think marriage is a wonderful thing. For some. It is many things, in many ways; different ways, for all kinds of different reasons,  for every couple, and I wish that our culture kept that in mind, in an open and nonjudgemental way. Good luck with that, right?

I still dislike weddings, and attending them in particular. Though I have enjoyed one or two. I find, as in Rachel’s wedding, that the rite in general is often too much. Too over the top. Too much of a stage. Which often loses the reality, or trueness of a particular love story’s origins and intent, I believe. I just don’t believe love and commitment need a stage. That stage.  Just what could ever, possibly, live up to the elaborate fantasies I’ve seen created at these things? Though I do love pageantry, and feel our culture doesn’t have enough pageantry that celebrates every day life and other rites of passage. Maybe that’s why we go all out at weddings. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just missing the bridal gene. My parents eloped. So would I.

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9 Responses to “getting married”


  1. 1 fee May 7, 2009 at 12:40 am

    watching movies with you then was a bit of a gamble, wasn’t it?! i remember you eating your smartfood out of the bag and the bag crinkled a bit and the guy in front of us shot you a look and you shot him back a WORSE one. haha. good times. then it probably rained on our way home from the theater. I had similar feelings on Rachel Getting Married. I also cried. I saw it with my mom who thought it was great (of course), and didn’t understand why I found it so depressing. But after a few weeks of letting it settle in..I realized I didn’t like it. At all. Just so over the top PC, so pretentious, so constant and overwhelming of “look at us, look how cultured and happy and how well we get along! well, except for you Kym.” bleh. I don’t get what all the fuss was about. do you?

  2. 2 petitmuse May 7, 2009 at 8:22 pm

    ha! i think you fell asleep during my favorite move, Wings of Desire. remember that video store? actually there were two of them, one a little wierder than the other, but both pretty wierd.

    no, i don’t get the fuss. watching that damned thing was like a reminder of every dysfunction or tragedy in mine, or any family. which i didn’t need. the wedding was annoying as hell. if i’d been in attendance, it would have been worse than any behavior i ever exhibited at the movies (remember pull my daisy? haha.). i thought debra winger was good in a small role for an unlikeable character.

    • 3 fee May 7, 2009 at 8:36 pm

      haha pull my daisy was awful though. i think it was ok you acted like that. wasn’t that at the Whitney? i don’t even remember watching Wings of Desire. don’t worry – i fall asleep with 50% of the movies i rent. i have no idea why. in the theater i’m usually fine, but watching movies at home i’m all zzzzzz. i’d like to rent Wings of Desire again actually…

  3. 4 petitmuse May 7, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    pull my daisy was indeed awful. and i think robert frank is a god. i have three of his books. i even like the later stuff, the stuff people dismissed as him just farting around in nova scotia. two of my teachers knew him. one said he’s a very distraught man (his daughter andrea died in a plane crash and his son pablo is either manic depressive or schizophrenic. it’s wierd when you look at some of his work with them when they were kids in the photos.). the other, this mean, dirty man named syd, did his printing.

    i hope the bacon exhibit is displayed well. i’m surprised it’s at the met, instead of moma. some of the shows i saw there were awfully hung…remember nan goldin’s and joel peter witkin’s? but i still remember annette messager’s. i saw that at least five times. totally awesome.

    i’m lucky i get to watch movies at home sometimes. i’m either too tired, or the kiddo wants to watch something. same goes with the computer.

    • 5 fee May 7, 2009 at 9:18 pm

      yeah i remember those. The witkin one i was surprised at how much i liked it. wasn’t that at the Guggenheim though? when we went to see the Cleas Oldenburg? ah we were such art students!

      • 6 petitmuse May 8, 2009 at 9:30 pm

        i meant that i was surprised to see badly presented shows in elite museums in nyc.

        witkin was yep, at the guggenheim. i didn’t like the way the pieces were stacked two apiece on top of each other in such a small room. it got crowded so quickly, as i remember. very disorienting to stoop down to see the bottom pieces too. nan goldin was at the witney. she could have used a better curator…too much work, too many similar pieces. look at ALL my friends! both shows had beautiful work though, yeah.

  4. 7 petitmuse May 7, 2009 at 8:44 pm

    you have to be in the mood for wings…it’s one long rumination upon existence and experience. i think it’s beautifully shot. i don’t watch it alot…but for awhile, i used to watch it every birthday. it’s too existential for some.

    • 8 fee May 7, 2009 at 9:19 pm

      sounds good to me. didn’t they make a remake with meg ryan and nicholas cage…haha. i’m sure it was terrible.

  5. 9 petitmuse May 7, 2009 at 9:21 pm

    they did. it was craptastic. don’t bother. poor nic cage…wtf happened to him?


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