what this little girl is made of

“I’m not touching it.”

“But I like worms. Pleeeease.”

“Good. If you like the worm, then YOU pick it up.”

“O.k.!”

And so “Wormy” is hoisted up onto Speed (the kiddo’s scooter). Only, Speed is now a hearse, cuz this wretched noodle is dead. Dead, dead, dead.

“I’ll not lose him.”

“Uh-huh.”

I’m starting to feel a little clammy; and begin to wonder if this thing will end up sitting on my kitchen counter, or *EEK!* the couch, where it could get lost. Then my mind begins to slither and entertain notions of feeding it to the birds, possibly. They might appreciate a worm. They sure would. If I can summon up the courage to slice it up for the birdie buffet.

“He’s not going to hurt you, Mama. I like the way he feels!”

“Wonderful…”

“Did you know he can’t see?”

“That’s right, Sweetie.”

“How come you don’t like Wormy?”

“I don’t dislike him. I just don’t like him in the manner that you like him, Sweetie….”

“I think you should carry Wormy now, Mama.”

“No, Sweetie, he needs you. He’s perfectly happy with you. He doesn’t need me.”

At all. Jesus God!

“You know, Mama, I think Wormy needs to take a swim.”

“O.K.”

And there he goes, pushed unceremoniously off the small bridge and into the stream below. Food for fish!

Whew!

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3 Responses to “what this little girl is made of”


  1. 1 Doktor Holocaust June 24, 2008 at 6:00 pm

    kids are weird that way. when I was little, I’d put a bunch of fireflies in a jar, with a handful of gravel, and then shake it. not out of any cruelty or anything, as it didn’t occur to me that i was killing a creature, just to see the glowy goo sprinkled all over the inside of the jar like stars.

    fireflies were like dandelions to me back then – they just came out of the grass when the weather was nice for me to play with.

  2. 2 Bets June 24, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    We used to squish the lightning bugs on the sidewalk with a small rock and then apply the glowing goo on our faces as Indian war paint. How disgusting is that?! Indian war paint and diamond rings, of course.
    I was a filthy child.

  3. 3 Doktor Holocaust June 26, 2008 at 8:26 am

    fireflies are a valuable natural resource in terms of providing free entertainment and getting the kids to go outside. the slogan for them should be “Squish the heck out of em! There’s always more.”


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