what is old…

…is new again. My sweet sister Pentyne became a bride this past weekend,  celebrating and  renewing a commitment of fifteen + years, dating back to high school. And for the first time ever, I cried at a wedding. A few times. I couldn’t help myself. It was so beautiful, and the kiddo and I were honored to be a part of the bridal party. I think the kiddo wants to do this again, actually. Especially the part afterwards, when the music comes on and she can hit the floor and get her boogie on. I have one question though….how did fun become so exhausting? I am old.

Last week, for no reason other than that I was bored, I made up a character, an old lady with an accent of no specifically known origin, and substituted her for myself all day whenever the kiddo asked me a question. Now, however, the kiddo prefers this fiction to her own mother it seems. She wants Rosella Bella to read her stories, to pick her up at preschool, give her a bath, and so on. I’m feeling rather rejected.

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3 Responses to “what is old…”


  1. 1 Doktor Holocaust April 29, 2008 at 10:20 am

    it could be that Kiddo is fascinated by the idea that Rosella Bella has been hiding inside her mom all these years, that it’s a part of you, a product of your imagination, that she hasn’t seen before but is fascinated by.

    my parents didn’t make up characters that I can recall, but in retrospect i belive that’s because my parents ARE characters, at least in my mind. They’re these larger-than-life jungian-archetype beings. Maybe it’s because I see the world through comic-book-colored glasses.

    in all fairness, I’m pretty curious about Rosella Bella myself.

  2. 2 petitmuse May 1, 2008 at 5:02 am

    Rosella Bella is a sweet, but firm old lady who is somewhat eccentric, but very loving and kind to the kiddo. Which is good, since the kiddo hasn’t had much grandmotherly figures in her life, one due to distance(the kiddo loves to threaten me with her as a replacement mommy), and the other due to a certain capricious and overbearing manner (ugh…).
    Rosella Bella is not a voice in my head or another personality, though interestingly, Rosella can roll her r’s and do a rather gutteral “h” sound, which I could never do. Hmm.

  3. 3 Doktor Holocaust May 1, 2008 at 6:39 am

    hmm indeed. maybe you unconsciously resisted making those sounds previously because, for your normal speaking voice, they sound inappropriate, but with Rosella they suit the character just fine?

    I have characters I do sometimes, from back in my youthful days of pen-and-paper roleplaying games. They have since grown beyond mere fictional things for my own amusement and into something that is equal parts imaginary friend (I don’t have any offline friends because I moved to a strange town to live with a girl who wound up hating me, but we didn’t split up until after I’d found a decent job here) and backup-battery for handling stress. It’s all me, though, different manifestations of the Good (for nothin!) Doktor.

    since i was a teenager, though, the mental picture I’ve had of my overall personality is one of a sort of massive heap of masks and characters and costumes, infinitely reconfigurable to suit the situation, but always the same eternally-masked troublemaker underneath.


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