surprises, surprises

Yesterday morning, I completed the last half of a required six hour parenting course before I go to the deciding room again tomorrow. I put this thing off for ohhhhh, four months. Not that it really mattered. It only matters when there is an agreement on the table. If there were an agreement, I wouldn’t have to go to the deciding room tomorrow. Anyhooo, it was a class of about eight people, who did not want to be there on a sunny Saturday. But by the second session, we were all comfortable with each other, which was good, because we weren’t being lectured in this course; oh no, we were there to share experiences and discuss. Which is exactly why I’d put this off for four months in the first place. I LOATHE these very things. Actually, if you don’t know already, I’m pretty averse to public exchange in general, thank you. My attention whore days are over and out. Done. In public I conduct myself as though I were attired in an invisible cloak, and dress and look pretty much accordingly. I was set to do my time under the radar at this powow and duck out quickly and quietly, certificate in my hot little hands to waive in front of my impatient attorney tomorrow. But damned if the woman sitting next to me in class didn’t have a story whose details were oh so similar to mine. I found myself sharing details, experiences, and perspectives, in spite of myself. In the first session.

I returned yesterday, feeling rather self conscious and vowing to keep a low profile. I guess I made an impression, because when we broke off into small groups according to the ages of our charges, I found myself with only one mother, and we had an amazing conversation. She was moving to a place in Massachusetts that I have been well acquainted with in and on again, off again manner, returning to the area like a magnet after any major change in my life. We had a lot to talk about regarding the character of the town and its charms.

And then she went on to tell me that she was thrilled that I was in her group, because I was so outgoing in the first sessions, and because I am……..fascinating. I was dumbfounded. I don’t want to insert the tired cliche of looking over my shoulder to see if she was talking about some other person, but I had some kind of feeling like that. Another lady had actually brought a blank book and presented it to me before she parted, tellling me to write. So six hours of my life became a nice warm fuzzy, and even though I present myself as being too cool for such things, I will take it.

Today it was cold and rainy, but yesterday was a stunning, seventy degree day. We spent it outdoors, where I peeked at the twins across the way and made cooing noises while the kiddo made a new friend. Wonder of wonders, she’s her own age. This is new. Usually, she gravitates toward older girls who fuss over her instead of treating her like an equal, which happens when you interact with your peers. I’m thrilled. The twins look great. They are fraternal boys, and are as different as night and day. One is dark haired, with boyish good looks, and an easy going manner. The other boy has blue eyes, and a face with ancient features, the kind one would find in Lebanon or Egypt. Nothing is easy for him. He never seems comfortable and cries frequently. I love cuddling both of them, but guess which one I gravitate to?

Miles the alpha male has finally constructed a nice, cushy nest out of the cigar box i hung up for them. It is more than three quarters packed with shredded paper from my shredder, and it’s where the two sweetiebirds now sleep at night. That’s a lot of work for a little bird. I like Miles very much, though sometimes I look at him and wonder if I should have named him Romeo.


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April 2008
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