Archive for August, 2007


I’ve seen you peeps around on my dashboard. I’ve thought of you. I’ve missed you. I’m ok, I’ve just been….cranky….this week. Which is nothing much to blog about. I’m chalking it up to a sort of emotional detox from recent events. Which has reminded me of just why I don’t like breaking up relationships. But in the end, it’s all o.k.

So I’ve been spending my time painting with the kiddo, cooking, and cleaning. We clean in my family when we’re upset, or kind of in flux. Or when people die. Irish wakes are only for the men in our clan. We women bring out the mops, the rags, the solutions, and we get down on our knees and seek our comfort in cleanliness. Probably a leftover Catholic thing, which the kiddo may just escape. So far, she thinks cleaning is “ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww”. But she’s getting better at picking up her things.

On vacation, the minute dear mom set foot in camp, right in the middle of a heavy barbecue jam my brother and I were having, she just had to tear apart practically the entire kitchen and reorganize it while we skillfully danced around her and tried to find utensils for her in the unfamiliar kitchen. It was pretty crazy, with all the pots on the fire and the grill and all, but, bygones. I understand that there’s nothing like a good sweep and purge to set things to right, as I have been finding this week.

The kiddo has been in what I will call her “black period”. Mixing colors bores her, but give her some Mars Black fresh from the tube, and she’s rolling. She’s a damned good artist…heavy on the repitition and pattern, I must say. Herds of wildebeast, camel, and armies of robots all carrying huge ice cream cones with a stemmed cherry at the tippety top. She’s so sweet. I bought the wrong mayonnaise and made potato salad with it anyway. I thought it was pretty horrid, but she declared that I make the best potato salad in spite of.

I’m still rethinking my new living space and how I want it for the kiddo and I. Suddenly, I don’t feel like the classic neutrals that I’ve been living with, or the dark heavy furniture, either. I need warm, buttery colors, soft textures, clean lines, light, and uncomplicated arrangements. And to heck with formal anything; I’m thinking our place should be a sort of playroom/creative labratory/clubhouse. Oh, why not?

See ya later. Soon, I promise.


yes I said yes

Cool whip ingredients: water, corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated coconut and palm kernel oil, sodium caseinate, natural and artificial flavorings, xanthan and guar gums, polysorbate 80, sorbitan monostearate, and beta carotene.

….because I have no willpower, I did. And did, I did. Yes.

So there I was this week at camp, blissfully slathering Cool Whip, which I haven’t eaten in probably over ten years, all over every sweet thing I could find; its cloud-like loft crowning two exquisite slices of triple berry pie in delicious fashion. Oooooooo, and then there was the mountain of it atop the spiraling pumpkin roll… I loved every minute of that. And later, splayed across this swell chocolate pudding-banana confection, trying not to moan around my mom.

It was wrong, yet felt so right. I still feel cheap and dirty.

tastes like chicken….

There sat the kiddo tonight, in stubborn protest over the mushrooms on her pizza.

So what did I do? I told her they were not actually mushrooms, they were….grubs.

Suddenly, her eyes perk up, and the next thing I know, she’s gulping them down, crowing, “slimy yet satisfying!”, ala The Lion King.

Am I evil?


the kiddo dropped this little nugget during an evening walk last night. Casually. Elegantly:



I think a dog would make me feel better.  

No doubt it would.

pre-vacation obligatory meme


What does your name mean?
I can’t remember

How old are you?
42, almost

How old are you mentally (as in are you mature?)
About ten years older or as young as five at any given time.

Describe yourself in 5 words.
Smart, Creative, Passionate, Strong, Beautiful

What are your worst qualities
I’m lazy when I’m bored, which makes me really terrible at hiding my boredom.

What are your best qualities
I’m creative in my approach to everything, and I can make almost anything I want to. I’m also an excellent mother.

How long does it take you get get ready in the morning
20 minutes

Do you dream at night?
Yes. Always.

Do you remember your dreams?
Oh yes.

Describe one.
I’ve described too many on this blog as it is.

What time do you go to bed usually?
1 AM

What time do you wake up normally?

What time do you wake on weekends?

Do you find waking late nice or annoying?
Absolutely wonderful.

do you sleep with one pillow or two?


Do you like school?
I’m pretty much done with that, but when I went, I liked it most of the time.

Why/why not? I liked teachers and courses that let me just play and run with it.
Whats yourr fave subject?
any studio course; photography, typography or drawing, etc.

Most hated subject?

Do you have a fave teacher?
tie between sandman, fiorentino, and mocko

Are you a maths/science person or an english/drama person?


Do you have heaps of friends?

Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?
an even mix of both.

Do you ever get annoyed at any friend?
Of course

Have you ever stolen a friends boyfriend/girlfriend?


Do you like your parents?

Ever run away from home?

Ever thought about it?
my brother and i had fantasies and plans about running away and living off the land, by a river, often.

Do you have any siblings?

If so, do you like or get annoyed with them? Rarely.

How old are they?
all over thirty.

If not, do you mind being an only child?
I spent too much time wishing I were the only child.

Do you feel your parents spoil you?
when my mother shares her tag sale/auction treasure, I feel spoiled indeed.

Do you not get along with any of your family?
Not my immediate family.

Do you have big family get togethers ever?
we’re about to have the biggest one. so very psyched!


Do you have a religion?

Do you practice it i.e go to church?
not in church.

Do you believe in God?

yes. he fascinates me. endlessly. and I’m not even a Christian.


not that kind. There’s all sorts of little heavens on earth.


If you died tomorrow what do you beleive will happen to you?
I had better be a fine crumble of dust, floating around the ocean somewhere. The rest, I can’t say for sure. We’ll all find out though.

Does death scare you?


Do you watch tons of tv?

How many times have you been to the movies in the past 6 months?
Over 10

Do you listne to the radio often?
I listen to Yankees games when I remember, and Colin McEnroe’s show in the afternoons, NPR occasionally. So often, I guess.

Do you read the newspaper?
I love newspapers. yes.

Do you read magazines?

Are you a couch potato?


Whats your fave style of music?
folk/piano girl music

Do you play an instrument?
i fumble with the guitar

Do you sing?

What’s your fave band?
i don’t really listen to bands. I like chanteuses

drama. wisdom. and they’re so sexy!

Have you met them before?
not a one, dammit.

Name 3 cds that youve bought in that last year.
Amy Winehouse’s Back to Black, Cat Power’s The Greatest…
I can’t remember any others

Why did you buy them?
I needed them.


Are you funny or serious?
Both, mostly funny, though.

Creative or not?

Logical thinker ?
when I need to do so.

Are you outgoing or shy?
shy. so shy.

Are you lazy or active?

Have you ever been hyperactive?

Are you a naturally hyperactive person?


Do you have a job?
not in the traditional sense. yet.

Do you like it?
see above

Are you a saver or a spender?

Do you work hard or slack off?
mostly work hard, but i know when to slack off if i need to.

Have you ever been fired?

In trouble at work?
unfortunately, yes. i sort of accidentally on purpose spilled ice water on a rude, pompous business man.

Made a major mistake?
Um, I’m human.

Ever had money stolen from you?

Are you always broke?
not always. sometimes.

~embarassing moments~

Your all time most embarassing moment?
Vomiting/morning sickness in a limo in front of Red Sox fans I’d only just met on the way to Yankee Stadium.

Ever snorted drink out your nose?

Ever giggled like an idiot?
many’s the time. giggling is a delicious neccessity.

Ever embarassed yourself and pretedned nothing happened?

Ever tripped in front of someone you liked?
I can’t remember tripping, but I’ve dropped stuff in front of hot guys. I’ve been told it’s part of my charm.

Ever said soemthing really stupid?

Ever snorted while laughing?
I might have once…maybe not

Ever fallen off a bed?
curiously, no

Ever sleepwalked?

Ever sleeptalked?
sometimes during an intense dream


Ever had funny thoughts and laughed and no one understood you?
I think I’ve had some on this blog

What’s the first thoght that comes to your head when you hear these names?

Melissa – Etheridge
Bob – Dylan
Vanessa – Williams
Alyssa – Milano
Jess – neice
Brian – bro
Charlie – kitty
Olivia – beautiful
Drew -Barrymore
Lily – Taylor
Anita – orange juice

What’s the firs thtoughts that come to your head while hearing these words?
cheese – mmm
rubber – duck
clothes – those?
big -life
dress – floaty
jacket – nope
polyester – cotton candy
kite – red
washing – clothes

I lost 190 lbs!


I feel weightless. And that’s all I’m sayin.

August 2007
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