Archive for July, 2007

here comes a bride

My sister is getting married! My baby sister. Sweet Pentyne. Well finally…. a wedding I want to attend! Hell, not only attend, I expect a behind the scenes role of some sort.

: that was my not so subtle hint, sweetie; ahem, did you catch that? :

The wedding will take place next year at a nice little park with ducks and swans. It was only five years ago that I was there at one of our family picnics, pregnant and stuffing fallen corn husks into empty hot dog roll bags while keeping a sharp eye out for deserted paper plates with scraps of fruit salad to go into my compost pile at home. Perhaps Pentyne will by then have a compost of her own and I could do the same for her. Because I know she won’t let me anywhere near the wedding cake; what with my nifty substituitions in the name of health. Such a shame.

I will not marry, myself; no, thank you very much. I have only one set of formal plans in place, the rest I just improvise as I go along. Someday, when I part this earth, there are orders…I mean, gentle reminders…regarding how I would like my body to be escorted out; things involving cremation, poetry, possibly bagpipes, and a quiet send-off into a moving body of water; river or ocean, I don’t care, as long as I’m NOT in some stagnant pond, contained for all eternity. Throw me into the nearest fountain if you must. I need to be sort of metaphorically moving around and going somewhere, and as long as those needs are met, I promise not to scorch the earth beneath the feet of any of my loved ones. I make no promises regarding ghostly frolics; er, visitiations, or other wierdness; I can’t possibly be expected to resist such fun if it’s available.

It surprises and somewhat amuses the kiddo’s babci that I have already thought of these things, but hey, her Polish genes have proven to live to 100 and beyond; she has time to plan. I’m not taking any chances. Any serious relationship I agree to always involves a careful segue into a discussion of these matters.

Babci giggles at me when I mention that will NOT, whatsoever, under any circumstances save for a few chosen family members, be viewed. But if she knew my 13 year old self, the one who barked orders to anyone within 50 feet of me, “stop looooooking at me!, “Don’t TOUCH me! Just Don’t!”, she wouldn’t bat an eye at my supposed wierdness. It’s ok, though, my father laughed at me too. But I haven’t changed. I’m an affectionate mama, but I’m otherwise not the touchy-feely sort. The thought of laying in some box while someone I barely knew in passing – or worse– didn’t even like, tenderly presses my hand or strokes my cheek while I’m stuck there, frozen as concrete and unable to grab them and give them the whatfor, creeps me out.

How did I even get on this?

I’ll not be going anywhere anytime soon. And this wedding is much, much more exciting. I wish my sweet Pentyne the very, very best. And I’ll try not to slip anything green, healthful, or socially conscious into the wedding favors, k? I could make you, dear one, a beautiful, elaborate paper wedding dress if you’re up for it though. Dare ya!

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have you ever…

dreamt of someone you know, in flagrante delicto; doing things outrageous, naughty, and totally out of character for them? It’s just another strange dream for me, ‘cept I can’t look at this person without convulsing into fits of hysterical giggles and it’s driving him absolutely mad.

stuff I’m not gonna do…

  1. stand in line for Harry Potter’s latest. But that’s easy, since I’ve never read any of ’em.
  2. drag my blog through the excruciating details of yet another move. Hence the relative quiet here…the kiddo and I are moving mid August!
  3. I won’t bring along my yummy black bean brownies on vacation (also in August) no matter how much anyone begs me. So there.
  4. I won’t go crazy at my latest tag sale this weekend. I won’t, I won’t, I won’t. Right.
  5. An’ I’m not giving up on my beloved Yankees either, no matter how quiet I’ve been on here about, in part because of the Sox’s rich tradition in the art of choking, and; because they are the Yankees and as I’ve said before, anything can happen.

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1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? a car seat, books, and an empty cookie tin.

2. what is the last thing you threw up? Um…vomit?

3. what’s your favorite curse word? Fuck! Now I’m going to get tons of spam for this.

4. what’s your favorite breakfast food? warm cinnamon buns with lots of frosting

5. what’s your favorite episode of Friends? the one where Ross drank the fat

6. what’s your pet peeve? Self centered people.

7. if you could marry any celebrity today who would it be? Ehh, I’d rather not.

8. is there anything red within 10 feet of you? A red toy plate with um, a stuffed squirrel on it, and a book bag. .

9. are you wearing socks right now? Nope.

10. what was the last thing you had to drink? Ice water.

11. what are you wearing right now? shorts and a sleevless top.

12. last food you ate? turkey and cheese on whole wheat bread with mayo, lettuce, and onions.

13. have you bought any clothing items in the last week? Nope.

14. when is the last time you ran? You’ve got to be kidding. My knees don’t like running.

16. what’s the last sporting event you watched? baseball, of course.

17. last movie you saw? Volver….I HEART Pedro Almodovar, who hearts women so very much. Mwah!

18. who is the last person you sent a message? um, Felix, I believe.

19. ever go to camp? I went to a cheesy Catholic camp…Guggenheim, as I now remember, where “everyone cries on the last day”. Vomit.

20. Were you ever an honor roll student in school? yes

21. do you like sushi? Sweet Jesus, no.

22. do you have a tan? nope.

23. how old do you want to be when you have kids? I was….. 37.

24. do you drink your soda from a straw? No.

25. what’s your age? 41

26. are you someone’s best friend? Yes

27. what are your siblings’ MIDDLE names? Lyn, Patrick, Sue, Michelle, and Edward. Wow! I actually remember them all.

28. where is your dad right now? I like to think he’s among us somewhere, either spiritually or perhaps physically reincarnated.

29. what was the last thing you said? Sweetie, you want MORE turkey???

30. what color is your watch? I have a really fancy watch with a pearl strung wristband given to me by some dear friends, but I don’t really wear watches.

31. what do you think of when you think of Australia? Swimming, and Ian Thorpe (swoon!).

32. ever ridden on a roller coaster? oh yes!

33. what is your birthstone? I think turquoise?

34. do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? When I do, I drive thru.

35. what is your favorite number? 5

36. do you have a dog? not anymore

37. what happened to you in 1993? I was in school. Shared an apartment with four other people and met my dear friend Betsy. Kissed a cute red headed boy many times. Took lots of pictures (not of the boy), and drank my fair share of cheap wine.

38. 1996? Started my job at a newspaper.

39. 1977? fifth grade, discovering the New York Yankees and Seattle Slew while being a math whiz. The math whiz part didn’t last much longer though.

40. 1999? lived in Norway for awhile.

41. 2000? lived with the kiddo’s dad.

42. 2001? started my first ever garden. Yeah, it was a quiet year.

43. does your first memory involve your dad? no. It involves my mom. I swear I remember her changing my diaper with one of those pins with the ducky head on them. True!

44. biggest annoyance in your life right now? Um…..

45. do you like watching a bonfire? sure

46. are you allergic to anything? I pretend I’m allergic to seafood.

47. favorite shoes that you wear all the time? Doc Marten mary janes with t-straps.

48. what is one thing you’ve learned about life recently? It’s all going to be ok.

49. are you jealous of anyone? I just learned recently that my friend Holly was a baby snuggler, one of those volunteers that hold high-need babies in hospitals. And I’m woman enough to admit that I am very, very jellis.

50. is anyone jealous of you? I don’t think so.

51. do you own an ipod? No

52. do any of your friends have children?Yes

53. do you ever take medication to fall asleep?No

54. what cd is in your cd player?Ani Difranco.

55. do you own any band tshirts? I have a Bob Dylan tee. That’s it.

56. do you do your own dishes? most of the time.

57. Do you hold grudges? No, but I will stay away from people who repeatedly hurt me.

58. How old will you be on your next birthday?42

59. have you ever been to Six Flags? yes

60. how did you get one of your scars? I burned my stomach with a cookie tin a few weeks ago taking cookies out of the oven. It’s this two inch magenta stripe. I hope it goes away!

little minds…

 

“Mama….mama…hey, look what happened to my squirrel! Look, come see! He DIED! He’s dead, mama. what are we going to do?!!?!!?

pause.

Here, I think you should EAT him!!!!”

This is the scene at least 20 times a day, every day for the past two weeks. Is this an existential crisis? Should I be calling the psychs in?

this

is what the 4th of July should be. If you’re tired of the Fuhrer spitting in your eye and pissing all over our Constitution, read it and consider.

baking…

I just got done baking a nice batch of chocolate chip cookies. Sans beans of any kind. As soon as the ingredients were mixed, I remembered the recipe available over at one my favorite blogs, the fabulous Bake and Shake. Next time.

I don’t know why, but unless it’s bread, I’m not really interested in eating the finished product any time soon after I’m done baking. Bread straight out of the oven with butter is heaven on a plate. Anything else and I feel too…involved…like I need space, give or take a day or two, before partaking. Luckily the kiddo has no such problem.

We’ve also been baking our own Syrian bread (pita, or pocket bread…my grandpa always called it Syrian bread). He taught me how to make these, when I was supposed to be practicing guitar. They are ridiculously easy to make. The kiddo and I are amused every. single. time. at the sight of the breads puffing up and out like balloons as they bake in the very hot oven. Anyway, try this and you won’t want to buy Syrian bread again. Ever. I use the recipe in the Frugal Gourmet with a bit of olive oil brushed on top before they go in the oven. Of course, it should be against the law to buy the accompanying hummus, which is also ridiculously easy to make. Though the moms at the playground do. Eh.

And, lastly, is it me, or do sandwiches always, always taste much better when other people besides yourself make them?